Good leaders have the ability to sincerely apologize and admit when they are wrong. They see the error and immediately start looking for a solution rather than who to blame. I had a boss, let’s call him Steve, that I honestly believe didn’t know how to say he was wrong or he was sorry. I never saw him as a good leader, as the saying goes he couldn’t lead a horse to water. There is a power behind saying I’m sorry; it’s a non-egotistical, human thing to say when you are sincere. People see you as human when you can apologize and admit your mistakes.
The trick is moving beyond the mistake and presenting a solution to the problem. I think many “leaders” fail at this part. They seek to point blame. “Whose fault is this?” “Who screwed up?” Steve’s solution for fixing a problem was forming a committee to find out what happened, not how to fix the problem but who screwed it up. There would be meeting after useless meeting, meanwhile the problem is still broken. Two weeks later someone says “hey are we going to fix this or blame Suzy”? After Steve was finished berating that person for daring to move beyond blame, the problem was fixed.
After dealing with this type “leadership” for 5+yrs, one begins to wonder if this backwards way of leadership is correct. One begins to doubt their own knowledge of leadership skills; if you think Stockholm Syndrome here and you’d be spot on.
Having moved to an HR department headed up by a true leader with a manager that is equally as sucessful at leadership, the Stockholm Syndrome is wearing off. It was like moving from a dark, dank cave to a sunny field of clovers (without the pollen).
Have you had a night and day experience with leaders? What are some of your bad leader stories? Share the funny!
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I can fully relate to your post! I did report to a micromanager a long time back, who only could find fault! I did notice that his anger was because he wasnt able to find a solution. And he wouldnt take solutions from the team. So he used his antics to buy time.
I had a scummy boss once (although my others have been stellar!). I was working as a contract/freelance worker, and the guy told me (and other workers) that they were tossing out the old pay scale and implementing a new one. The old was based on years of service mainly. The new one had two dozen (mostly useless) factors that we would be rated on. The biggie was that if we paid to attend training, our rating (and conversely our pay) would increase. With 3 years of service behind me, I figured that I might as well go along with it, so I shelled out $80 along with 20+ others (watching helplessly as he pocketed the money immediately!). I found out when the next season of work rolled around that I was going to get paid like it was my very first time to ever do the job, and I quit. I couldn’t believe that he would treat me like that after all of the years of me picking up the slack when others cancelled or going out of my way to help when others wouldn’t. What a load of crap (and crappy leadership).
I had an Sr. VP call me up late one day and yell at an me unmercifully for 5 minutes about not getting the administrative work finished on a high level promotion in his team. It wasn’t done because the CEO (his boss) had put all promotions above a particular level on hold but not bothered to tell his people about it. I tried to explain what happening but got nowhere. All I got were threats that he was taking his complaint to the VP of HR 2 levels above me.
The story could have ended there as an example of executive abuse of authority. However it didn’t. The next day he called me back and said, “I’m sorry. I was out of line last night. I hope you didn’t feel like I was shooting the messenger.” I responded with, ” Well it did feel like you were shooting the messenger. However I am assuming that your frustration wasn’t just about me.” He responded, “It was the end of a bad day. I apologize for taking it out on you.”
I accepted his apology and my respect for him went up about 300% over what it was before this whole incident. It is amazing what owning your mistakes and offering sincere apologies will do for gaining respect and commitment.
Bad bosses – gosh where do I begin?
The anorexic, recovered bulimic, bi-polar, acting like a mother of the canine variety boss?
Or the demented boss who chewed me out for not answering my cell phone while driving. He tried to call me three times with a 20 minute period. Three things I told him – 1. It is my personal cell phone – I pay for it , not him or the company. It is meant for emergency use. 2. – I do not use the cell phone while driving. 3. Nothing is that important that it cannot wait until I get to work.
Or the boss who asked me (a male) to look for a co-worker (also a male) in the men’s rest room and after I refused she (yes, SHE!) went in there herself to look for him. When chastised for doing so she claimed that any male boss would have been able to do the same thing and that it was gender discrimination against her. Never mind that if a male boss had gone into the women’s restroom he would be hauled away in handcuffs, right?
Or perhaps the boss who was so bad that the year I left (because of him and his nasty attitude) the company had an over 30 percent turnover rate of regular employees and close to a 50 percent turnover rate of management. I later heard that the president of the parent company flew into town unannounced, closed the office telling everyone to go home for two days, then hired a locksmith to change all the locks – essentially firing the boss. Cool! I so wish that I had stayed to see it all go down.
Or the jerk who called people at home on Christmas (a federal holiday in the US) to ask simple questions about work. He felt that Christmas was a religious holiday and he should not have been forced to give people the day off. His calling staff was one way of making this point. Lucky me – I wasn’t home, but found three messages on my answering machine later. I only worked for him for about one month – I quit when paychecks started to be delayed. (I should have seen that wreck coming as I was employee number 46 in a company of less than 15 and he had only been in business for a year)
All these make me appreciate good, or even just okay, bosses that much better.
@HRStore I think we worked at the same place
@Ben Scummy? well, tell us how you really feel
That doesn’t sound right, did they lessen your rate of pay and make you pay for your own training? I would’ve quit too.
@Alan Wonderful example of a boss that can admit when they are wrong and apologize. I’ve had my share of bosses that are not capable of doing that and its sad. Leaving that employer was honestly a breath of fresh air.
@Charles I’m sending you some alcohol and a gift card for a massage….you need it after working for those people.
Yes and yes. After 3 years. That=scummy.